Things I'd never do

Bryan Appleyard has picked up on a good meme going the rounds:

Ten things I would never do.

He hasn't challenged anyone in particular to do this meme, but I rather like it so I will have a go.

1. Have another child

2. Read or buy  a book "by" a pop star, model or person famous for having their photograph taken

3.  Give a recital at the Royal Albert Hall

4. Jump out of a plane with or without parachute

5. Uninstall Internet Explorer when told it will solve my broadband problem by a person in India answering BT's customer service phone number

6.  Stop reading Frank Wilson's blog Books, Inq (or indeed, a lot of other people's blogs)

7. Wear jewelry and make-up

8. Take up ballet

9. Work in advertising

10. Watch reality TV shows

Anyone else want to have a go at this "infuriatingly irresistible"meme, as Bryan describes it? Drop the  link in the comments if so.

Comments

[Susan]

It is irresistible, isn't it? I'm participating: http://inover.blogspot.com/2006/11/ten-things.html

[crimeficreader]

Oh Maxine, you make me feel so ashamed! I've just spent the evening watching reality TV; all of it - singing, dancing and jungle capers. Not only that, it was also my birthday today and what a way to spend the evening! (The sort of age that is blessed with the addition of reading glasses and does not seem to warrant any form of celebration, I hastily add!)
However, I can also tick 7 of your 10.

[Marie]

I might try this later when I have some time. I'll need to have a good think about it.

I definitely would never do 4. I'd only do 2 (and have done) if I'm a fan of the celeb and the celeb actually was famous for talent rather than just being famous.

I don't watch many reality programmes apart from those that involve singing. I can't help it. They hook me.

[Maxine]

Don't worry, it is a personal list, I would be the last one to expect anyone else to follow suit, just so long as I don't have to join in -- I definitely would not advise, 5 though.

[Jenny D]

But don't you think there's a tempting-fate aspect to this sort of list, or at least that the hidden-away parts of our minds might use such list-making as an opportunity to tell us about things we DO want to do? I mean, I see that most of these things are just plain off-putting and there is no reason for you to (for instance) start wearing makeup or jewelry, but isn't it actually possible that you MIGHT at some future point take up ballet or jump out of a plane?!? (Well, maybe not the plane... but did you read Jenny Diski's arachnophobia piece at the LRB?)

[Maxine]

Yes, definitely, Jenny -- I was only thinking last night about the frisson of wearing make up or jewelry --- or, heaven forbid, both together!
I think I would prefer jumping out of a plane to some of the other options, though.

[Lynne W. Scanlon]

Too late for me on 4,5,7 and 9. Oh, well.

[Steve Clackson]

1 Yell "Hey look at that" when my brother in law is driving.
2 Let my brother in law drive.
3 Tell the 7'1" bouncer at Treasure Island Hotel in Las Vegas "ya you and what army".That arm is still sore.
4 Stick my tongue on the frost of a metal clothesline pole.
5 Paddle across a lake on an air mattress to see Tommy James and the Shondells.
6 Watch John Mellencamp in concert when he is so blitzed he couldn't sing.
7 Put my face up to a cage that houses a Mandrill.
8 Slap the ol' mare on the ass as we start riding downhill.
9 Tell the Mexican lady at the taco stand in L.A. that "I like it as hot as you can make it."
10 Drive the zodiac that close to a pod of Killer whales.

[The Moon Topples]

Maxine,

I have done this now on my blog, and added a link to you as well. Thanks for the meme, and for your great blog.